Friday, February 18, 2011

Big Booties? Oh Yeah!

Attraction is a funny thing. Some people like blondes while others like brunettes, never mind the fiery wild cards known as redheads. But why? Well Timmy, it all stems from the basic principle of Sexual Dimorphism, or the physical differences between the male and females in a given species. Take, for example, the noble Peafowl. Peafowl are often mistakenly referred to as a Peacocks, which is actually the name for the male only while the female is dubbed the Peahen. This bird perfectly illustrates the scientific premise of sexual dimorphism.

Witness the glorious spectrum of colors exhibited in the plumage by only the male of the species. It looks like this for one reason and one reason only... and no, it's not to end up as a design staple for 1970's studio apartments. The reason in scientific terms is called procreation however, in romantical terms  its known as  doin' it.

Look at the male and the brilliant colors of his exquisite tail-feathers; Now look at the female as she dons a schlumpy sand colored number. Sexual Dimorphism rears it's slightly differing male and female heads  when peahens simply choose their peacocks based on how impressed they are with these tail-feathers. In the human species we have obviously spawned language and society among other intellectual discourses to deepen and complicate the mating process, but have we really evolved that much past looking at butts? Supposing we haven't, the only difference between us and the birds is that our roles are slightly reversed. Now I'm not calling myself a schlump, but I think many (including this facebook group) would agree that the females are the ones with the glorious tailfeathers.

You remember Lydia? Check out her newest, 
non-Butt-Touching endeavor,

If you don't believe me, or obvious butt-loving royalty, Sir Mix-A-Lot, maybe you can be convinced by my man Mos Def and his hind-centric opus. Ms. Fat Booty has been adored by all races (especially White People) and females and males alike. I have personally seen this song played on the subway by my fellow straphangers on more occasions than I can count, and I'm sure that if you don't know this one already, you'll be buying it and playing it too.

Mos Def - Ms. Fat Booty

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